singing ballerina

If I could start all over again, I would. From childhood up. If I could start over knowing what I like now, and what I wish I could do, I would do it to pick a different career in life. But I can't do the things I want to do now. It's not a matter of faith or willpower in myself, I know. It's all about timing and talent.

There are a few things I wish I could do now. I really want to be a ballerina. I would love to dance ballet really well. I would've stayed in ballet my whole childhood instead of quitting when I was young and become really good. I know I could've done it, I'm just much too old to do it now. I need a few years, but I'm in "prime" ballerina years right now. By the time I learn, I'll be too old to dance. And by old, I really do mean over 28.

I also wish I could sing opera. I have always loved opera my whole life. I wish I had had the opportunity to take singing lessons when I was very little and learned the basics a long time ago, not now. I have the resources (BYU arts dept.) to be able to get the most amazing training ever and be in first class operas, but I don't have the training or talent to do that now.

And I also wish that if I hadn't done one of the above things that I had become amazing at an instrument. Music is amazing, and I wish that I had really been persistent and practiced and become a performance artist.

I want to change my major. But can I do that? No, not really. Not if I actually want to graduate with something. After singing in choir, improving my singing with lessons, discovering that I actually have a given talent to sing, and learning that I LOVE it, I want to do choral directing. I would love that. Learn how to lead a choir... I want to be a choral director in a high school somewhere. I think that would make me the happiest.

Well, I still have my English career though, so at least I still have something I love. I guess, as they say, it's not over until the fat lady sings.