a call for action

I am beginning my next round of Clomid on Friday. My doctor upped my dose from 50 mg/day to 150 mg/day. I didn't really have any side effects last month, except a few random cramps here and there, but I have a feeling, taking triple the amount this month, that I'm going to feel it.

The impact that I didn't succeed last month finally hit me tonight. Realizing that I have two more chances with the drug, and then I'm back on my own is a scary thought, too. If this doesn't work, in June I'm onto my last round that my doctor will give me (Clomid is only prescribed for three to six months since it can have adverse effects if taken longer than that. As an OB/GYN and not a specialist, she doesn't feel comfortable giving it to her patients for longer than three months). After three cycles, she's handing me over to a specialist. The next step would be IUI (intrauterine insemination) and IVF (in vitro fertilization), and John and I just can't afford those right now.

So I am doing something I have never done. Not during the time that I was in extreme depression, not in the time that I was seeking help from starving myself, not during the time when I was miscarrying.

I'm asking you to pray for me, pray for John. Pray daily, more than daily. Fast for us. Put our names in the temple. Ask your friends to pray for us. Call upon that higher being whom you believe in. Send all your good thoughts and vibes. Wish upon stars. Do whatever you do to ask for divine help. I know that with all of our prayers combined, John and I can finally have our miracle. The power of prayer can do so much. I have seen it change lives, and I know that with everyone's help, it can change ours. They say it takes a whole village to raise a child. Maybe it takes a whole village to create one. Well, not in a gross way... You know what I mean.