that is good news

I have had an amazing transformation. I visited my bishop about two weeks ago and just had a good talk. He helped me get some of my thoughts and feelings in order and turned me in a good direction. I needed to reset my life- I've had a bit of trouble with my spiritual well-being, and wasn't quite sure how to go about fixing it.

I think the thing that helped me the most was reading an amazing piece of literature called Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson. I had the copy for a while, but just forgot about it and never picked it up. Then, as I was about to go out the door for work one morning, I had the impression to snatch it off the bookshelf and stick it in my purse. That morning I had a few hours before waking the girls up, so I read. And whenever I had a spare few moments I'd pull it out and read a bit more. Nothing I have read has ever had such a powerful and immediate impact on me. It's made me want to start believing Christ, not just believing in Christ. There is a huge difference, and I strongly suggest you read the book to find out what it is.

At a really hard time in my life this helped me find light. I am so grateful to be carrying that light with me constantly now. It's just like the analogy with the light switch- sometimes you can be in a dim room and not realize how dark it is until a light is turned on. My light was turned on, and I never want it to be dimmed again.

I feel that this was the perfect timing for a re-conversion for myself. It's Easter, the symbol of Christ's Atonement and resurrection. I couldn't think of a better time of year for this to happen, and even though I'm far from knowing even a fraction of the Atonement, I'm closer to understanding than I've ever been. I'm so grateful for Christ's sacrifice, a sacrifice that allows me to feel His love constantly, know that I can't be perfect and not expected to be perfect, and be forgiven of my shortcomings and sins.

There is a parable in Believing Christ that I'd like to summarize. It really helped me understand what is expected of me. The author's son really wanted a bicycle. They were a young family, and Stephen didn't have a lot of money to spend on a bicycle for him. So he told his son to save up everything that he earned doing chores, and that one day he'd have a bicycle. A few weeks passed, and his son diligently saved up everything in a jar, until one day, Stephen told him they'd go looking at bikes. After looking for a while, his son found the perfect bike- but it was a little over $100. The young boy saw the price and started crying. "I'll never be able to save up for this bike! I won't ever be able to buy it." Stephen asked his son how much he had saved the last two weeks, and he saw he had just under one dollar. Knowing his son had worked his absolute hardest to save up his money doing extra chores around the house and working for his mom, Stephen knelt down to him and told him that if he used his 90-some cents toward the bike, that he would pay for the rest of it.

We are not expected to be perfect- we'd never be able to save up our "$100" in life, and that's where Christ steps in and says, "You pay whatever you have and I'll make up the rest." It doesn't matter how much we have- 2 cents, 50, or even a whole dollar, we still need Christ's help to get to that $100. We are still indebted to him. As long as we work our hardest and give our all, we will make it in the end. And because we all owe Christ, we should not compare ourselves to other people. It doesn't matter if your friend has a whole $2 more than you do. And it doesn't matter that someone else only has a few cents. We should never look down on them, and we should never put ourselves down.

What made me feel a lot better about how I was doing was reading about perfection. There is a scripture that I loved that was quoted in the book. It's about keeping the Commandments. We have been commanded to keep the commandments. But, that's impossible, right? That's expecting the whole $100, which is impossible to achieve in life. We should always do our best- that much is true and will never change. But there is a scripture that really opened my eyes in Doctrine and Covenants 46:9 that says, "They (the gifts of the Spirit) are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh to do so" (italics added). The intentions of our hearts are just as important as our actions. We cannot keep all of the covenants all of the time. Luckily, God is just and merciful.

"Another of the great promises of the new covenant is that all those who really want and work for the kingdom of God with all their strength, however great or little their strength may be, will inherit the kingdom.

"And that is good news."

Yes, good and very comforting news.

Happy Easter!