the journey

I've had a new job for about a month now, and it's turned out to be quite an adventure so far.

I'm a youth mentor at a drug rehabilitation center for teenage girls. My job is mainly to watch them, make sure they follow the rules, get them to where they need to go, etc. At the end of my shift (each shift is 8 hours) I write in a log how each girl behaved. There's a rating system: green, yellow, or red. Greens are assigned to girls who really made an effort that day, yellow if they behaved but could've done better, and red if they broke any rules. Reds also assign more service hours to their time, and they have to spend Saturday afternoons working those hours off by doing extra chores or working outside. It's much better than it was at first, and I'm starting to actually enjoy it. There are three houses- two hold seven girls each, and the third has three. They are all ages 15-18.

My first few shifts were horrendous. I came home crying, I went to bed crying, and I woke up sick to my stomach with anxiety. I didn't know the rules well yet so I couldn't really watch over the girls, so they knew exactly how to get away with stuff, and were really disrespectful. I was a new staff, and they hate all new staff and make it a game to try to drive them away. They are usually successful, so I really had to prove to them that I was going to be there for the long run. It just took time for them to realize that I could be trusted and dependable.

Now that I've been around for a while and gotten to know most of the girls, many of them like me and I've really liked getting to know them and hear their stories. Some of them are unbelievable for many reasons. Most girls have broken and unreliable families and crazy stories to match. Hearing these break my heart, but also makes me so happy that they are there getting help. It's really touching to see them progress in their treatment and admit that the program is the best thing that has ever happened to them.

During process group this week (we split into two groups and have group therapy with one of the therapists there) a girl finally admitted that she was the only one in charge of making sure she got better, and wasn't going to let anyone tear her down. She had repaired her relationship with her father and finally felt comfortable and loved by him for the first time in years.

All of the girls have learned that I'm a human hose-pipe. I cry all the time. They have asked me many questions about my personal life, and when I talk about John or milestone events in my life, I cry. I cry because when talking about these, I know I've been blessed by Heavenly Father so much and realize His hand in my life. I feel the Spirit so strongly with me while at work it's impossible to not cry at times like these. I've cried when girls have made progress, and I've cried in empathy when they get emotional and upset about something. They all think it's cute that I cry, and a few of the staff say that some of the girls need to see that free flow of emotion (I think they're just trying to make me feel less embarrassed) and one of the therapists, since I cried during a therapy session, said that when coupled with tears, my words feel really genuine, and I hope that I have helped the girls.

The part that I dislike most is that I have to be to work at 6 AM. My shifts are generally mornings: 6-2. I get the girls up in the morning, make sure they get ready, take them to school, and bring them home for an hour and a half group session, then I'm done. Pretty simple, unless one or a few of the girls are having a bad day and cause trouble.

That's what my life has been lately. I bought Tangled from Amazon last week and own that now, Suki is still sweet and playful and sleeps on my head at night, and John is still in school. I'm trying to read Isaac Asimov's Foundation trilogy right now. Key word, "trying." I'll be 22 in a few weeks on the 29th. I've taken to making baby quilts for the plethora of people around me having babies (pictures to post soon), and John's parents and Beth came for a visit last week. That was a lot of fun! Beth toured campus and Helaman Halls, we ate out a few times for some amazing food, and just had a good visit! John and I are excited to have both Beth and Jake here in the fall!